Hope

I left you hanging with my last blog wondering how we fixed the situation with a problem child.  With the remainder of this three part blog, I will attempt to close out that story and tie in the whole theme of hope.

By way of a quick review, I had discovered that, while I was someone who wanted to follow God's Word on forgiveness and show Mercy and Grace, when it came to actually living out these things I wasn't really living up to what I said I believed.  It took a troublesome little boy to reveal this to me and I was just getting ready to share my solution to the problem of "Billy", (not his real name).  


The problem was broader than only myself and it became clear that as Children's Church director, I was going to have to figure out a way for all of the boy's teachers to interact with him and open a path to loving him in Christ.  I spoke to the pastor and brainstormed the situation.  There was something seriously wrong with what was happening here.  It wasn't just that we were having trouble with some child it was that we were not demonstrating the Love of Christ to him in the process of dealing with him.  Something had to change.  


I started wondering if I could deal with the circumstances that he was in.  He had to be feeling hopeless.  In fact I realized that if God held me to the same standard that we were holding this child to, none of us would be able to stand.

If God's compassions were not new every morning, we would be destroyed for each day's sin, even before we could get out of bed in the morning.  Here the prior weeks behavior was held against this child and he was not getting new compassions from us.  To this child we were acting like the wicked slave who, having been shown great mercy by his master and having had his debt forgiven, turns and casts his fellow slave into prison for a minor debt.  This is not to say that we cannot or should not discipline, or correct a child, but that we must seek to find ways to show grace and mercy and be willing to hold out hope for those who have sinned.

The next week I had children's church, and Billy was going to be there.  Just thinking differently would not be enough, I would have to set the stage differently.  I determined to meet with him in the hallway as we walked from the sanctuary back to the room.  


Once I caught up with him I said "Billy, I am really looking forward to having you in class today!  I have a really good lesson planned and I want you to be a part of it.  I think you will really like it, and we are going to do some coloring today too."  That was all I said, but I meant it and it set the tone for class.  


True to form, Billy began to disrupt the class.  He crawled under the table disturbing the other kids and interrupting my lesson before I could even get it started good.  I ignored his behavior as long as I could and finally I said, "Hey Billy, its time to have our lesson, will you take a seat at the table so we can begin."  He looked at me but didn't stop his behavior so I started the lesson.

As I began to speak, he looked up and started to listen.  He moved over and took his seat finally and I was able to finish my lesson with little interruption.  It was a long way from perfect but it was a huge step in the right direction.  Finally someone wanted him in their class, and finally he had motivation to obey.

Hope is something that many people have and it is often a false hope.  Many of Billy's teachers offered him a false hope that they would be pleased with him if he acted right or didn't misbehave.  For Billy this was no hope at all.  He knew he would never be able to live up to the expectations of his teachers so he had decided not to try.  When I let him know that I wanted him in my class room and I was looking forward to spending time with him, I offered him real hope.


This hope wasn't rooted in performance, it was rooted in the grace of God.  As I began to recognize my sin and deal with it, I found that I didn't really hate this boy.  I found a love for him that I didn't even know existed.  God changed my heart towards him and in that new care for him, he experienced the hope that comes only from God.  Billy for the first time saw that God's compassions do not fail and they are new every morning.  


I had many more opportunities to catch him before class and tell him that I was looking forward to having him participate in the learning.  I never again had the level of trouble I had from him before.  Most days he was attentive and participated in the class.  I shared my success with the other teachers and encouraged them to do similar things with him.  Those who put forth a real effort to work with him all saw improved results and began to appreciate him more.


The bottom line is this...I think Billy had a greater impact on me than I ever had on him! But more on that later...